Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
