so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Is it because I queefed?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
