Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
