youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
