If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
