i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
