Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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