why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
