it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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