So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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