Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
