just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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