a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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