Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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