I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
