Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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