I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
