I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
