That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
