We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
