thus making me awesome and them whores
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
