drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
