We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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