I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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