You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
