Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
