Whod you bang
You just made me feel so damn special
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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