so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
