While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
