I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
