i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
