the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
