i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
