i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
they need to just BURY HIM!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
