he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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