I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
