And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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