if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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