every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
