after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
