i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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