never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
