Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
