i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
