the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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