im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
