i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
