Do vagina's smell?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
