Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
