You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
